Charmaine's, 240695
Little Bunny, hophophop. |
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Monday, May 4, 2009
  天下最大的败类 Im th world's biggest failure. I look through th pictures and thought over what you said t me. I realised that I have changed, I have really changed. In th past when you looked me in th eye and said, "You have changed, why?" I would reply,"Big fuck meh." Now, these words just sink in and cut me like razorblades My heart is like an overcast sky right now, my mind keeps playing back what happened just now.
Am I really that 笨蛋,大白痴 in your mind? I scan through all my pictures from young until now. I realise what I miss th most isnt th childhood memories, I miss th smile. They had promised me happiness. But I had single-handedly destroyed my only family, my friendships, my life, my passion. Am I even still worthy t say, "爸，妈。 说好的幸福呢？" I sit on my bed, wondering why I had chosen this path. I started t cry right after our talk. I have never felt so remorseful before. I wonder if it was better for everyone if I had gone in. But right now, I really dont know what to do . So many things coursing through my mind right now. Im so confused. I guess sometimes things that you reallyreallyreally want, just never comes t you. Boy, I guess you dont need me anymore, we hardly talk, if it makes you happier, i'll learn t accept it. Be happy w her. 你爱上的是她 记得要快乐 不要悲伤 因为爱是快乐 不是痛苦. They just take you round and round, and when you come back t square1 your just nothing but a pile of broken pieces. I keep telling myself t stay strong, stay strong, stay strong for th people that I love, stay strong t always be there for th people I treasure. But right now I feel myself breaking down. What is going t happen? Will anyone even care? With every lash I lament myself, I loath myself, I despise myself. Th hatred burns, th anger grows. Th cracks starts t appear, everything's falling apart. Finally, finally an end t all this misery. 妈妈 对不起 用了十年才发现 原来我错了。 如果说对不起 您会原谅我吗？ Its too late for tears, MIA-ing people, miss me. Phone confiscated till October, -'- |